Equilibrium — a word that sounds vaguely, and indeed is rooted in, Latin. Kind of like Londinium (Roman name for the city of London) or palladium. Anyway, it occurred to me today that this is what I have frequently lacked. Here is a complete definition:

e·qui·lib·ri·um| ˌēkwəˈlibrēəm, ˌekwəˈlibrēəm | noun (plural equilibria | -ˈlibrēə | ) a state in which opposing forces or influences are balanced: the maintenance of social equilibrium.
• a state of physical balance: I stumbled over a rock and recovered my equilibrium.
• a calm state of mind: his intensity could unsettle his equilibrium.
• Chemistry a state in which a process and its reverse are occurring at equal rates so that no overall change is taking place: ice is in equilibrium with water.
• Economics a situation in which supply and demand are matched and prices stable: the market is in equilibrium | [as modifier] :  the equilibrium level of income.

New Oxford American Dictionary

Please do not conclude that I am slipping into something New Age-y, and that I’m sitting cross-legged now, uttering weird noises with my hands raised and thumb and middle fingers touching. No, that’s too much effort, anyway 😉

I think the issue of balance, life balance, is very Biblical and consistent with Christianity. One example I can think of off the top of my head is Jesus going away from his disciples and crowds, up into the mountains to pray (Luke 6).

My ability to juggle things has been severely diminished over the last year or so, much more than before, and the pandemic situation has played a big part. I especially grieve the mess I made of teaching a new graduate class this Spring and wonder if students in that class will ever get over it. My second graduate degree progress has crashed to a halt. There is lack of progress in many other work, home, and professional areas of responsibility as well.

Equilibrium helps when going through rough times, and it requires significant work over a significant period of time to work up to. I’m not there yet but I’m working on it and the good news is, I think it’s doable and I’m already able to feel a bit calmer about things than several months ago. Exercise helps, as does many other things but above all else, what helps is trusting and learning to trust more in how much God is in control of all things. There are many things that are mysterious and unknown, things that seem impossible and unfair, which only in retrospect, and only sometimes, can I see and understand that the Lord’s hand was in them.

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