Another door closed

The wait for an answer is over, and unfortunately, I was not offered the job elsewhere. Another door closed. All along, I consistently prayed for God to make things clear, and he did, just not in the way I was prepared for. I am thankful for his loving kindness and tender mercy, yet feel extremelyContinue reading “Another door closed”

Uncertainty

Uncertainty is a staple of life, but it seems especially prominent nowadays. My ability to handle it is wearing thin, I must admit. The constant waiting for an answer, the frequent sense of what ifs and unknowns, build up to an almost intolerable crescendo at times. One example is the question of when we willContinue reading “Uncertainty”

As I expected

As I expected, I didn’t get the job. I wasn’t even given the courtesy of a preliminary interview. As much as I thought I was prepared for this, I really wasn’t. The past several days have been a haze of really difficult and complex feelings, but the predominant one is grief. I grieve because itContinue reading “As I expected”

Discouragement, thy name is 2020

Obviously, it has been a very difficult year for just about everyone. That is an understatement if there ever was one. For myself, part of today’s discouragement is the knowledge that I have not heard back from the search committee for the position for which I applied some time ago. I know they met toContinue reading “Discouragement, thy name is 2020”

Sorest loser

The undisputed champion of the reality TV show we are experiencing right now, appropriately named “Sorest Loser,” is the thankfully-soon-to-be ex-president of the U.S. I wish this was all just a sarcastic joke, but it isn’t. It is very real and very scary stuff. The true American Horror Story. In the Not Much Better newsContinue reading “Sorest loser”

Pessimistic

I must admit that it continues to be a daily challenge to find encouragement and comfort in this pandemic time. And then, here in the U.S., even if the current regime is routed in next week’s election, which is not a certainty, there is the real possibility of reactionary actions from those dissatisfied with theContinue reading “Pessimistic”

Hope flickers

Change, including positive change, is rarely easy and quick. Yesterday, I happened to look back on all of the previous posts I’ve written and I found it encouraging and helpful to see the variety of emotions and circumstances documented in them. In particular, I sensed a pattern of ongoing change in them. Writing things downContinue reading “Hope flickers”

Not all who wander are lost

This quote from J.R.R. Tolkien is one of my favorites. One of the heroes of his epic stories is a man who has spent many long years in lonely exile, wandering the wilderness, and this line is from a poem about him. Aragorn is born a king but does not achieve that status until muchContinue reading “Not all who wander are lost”

Alienated

The Bible mentions the words “strangers,” “foreigners,” or “aliens” several times. We are told that this world is not our home; instead, our home is with the Lord. These points resonate more and more with me as the pandemic goes on and especially, as I continue to experience out-of-control organizational weirdness in my work life.Continue reading “Alienated”

Cumulative impact

The many ongoing uncertainties we face are having a cumulative impact. You know the saying, “once bitten, twice shy”? I think there’s a similar principle at work with the pandemic, economic conditions, injustices, poor government leadership, and more. Uncertainties tend to reshape our regular, “healthy” view of life in ways that we may not evenContinue reading “Cumulative impact”