Discouragement, thy name is 2020

Obviously, it has been a very difficult year for just about everyone. That is an understatement if there ever was one. For myself, part of today’s discouragement is the knowledge that I have not heard back from the search committee for the position for which I applied some time ago. I know they met to identify top candidates and set up interviews, so because I have not heard anything, it strongly hints that I am not on their list of top candidates.

From the outset, I knew my candidacy faced long odds, primarily because of those who were chosen to be on the search committee. I told myself, and still believe, that if it is God’s will, it will happen. If it isn’t His will, then it won’t. And that I need to be at peace whatever happens if I truly have surrendered the situation to Him. However, as I face what seems to be another closed door, I admit that it hurts more than I thought it would.

It has also been a very rough week in terms of family relationships, and that’s discouraging, too. One aspect of the difficulty pertains to us continuing to be cooped up together while COVID rages around us, restricting what our teenagers can do and with whom. At this point, it seems likely that we may be spending Christmas on our own, as we did for Thanksgiving. In my own view, that is not necessarily a bad thing, but I know it is pretty discouraging to others.

There are bright spots here and there. For example, some sane people have thwarted the ugly attempts at kowtowing to one person’s enormously childish ego by declaring election results to be untainted by fraud. Let’s just point out that a suitable new alternate name for the GOP is the Repugnantcans. Another bright spot is that the grad course I’m teaching is wrapping up soon and the final papers and presentations have been really, really good so far. This morning I determined that twenty people signed up for the course I’m teaching in the Spring semester, and registration has only been open for a few days.

As I wonder what might be next, I wish those who read this post many blessings as well as a big dose of encouragement to counteract all of the discouraging things that have been going on.

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