In addition to coping, I realized today that I am grieving. It is a natural and healthy thing although it can be overwhelming. As noted with my previous post on coping, grieving, too, can last a long time.
Although readers may naturally wonder what I’m grieving about, I won’t go into specifics. Things I’ve learned recently help the past several years to make more sense. Some things have clicked now, and I can see why. But exploring that new knowledge also brings new levels of pain and grief.
Of course, grief comes out of loss, and there are many things that have been lost. Also, as many know all too well, grief comes and goes in waves. It mixes well with other strong emotions like rage and guilt and helplessness to make a sometimes powerful cocktail of feelings.
Thinking about the pandemic or racism or…you name it, there is a litany of current issues to choose from…brings its own level of grief as well. I think many of us are grieving on a daily basis even if we don’t realize it. We grieve for what we once took for granted or what never has been or what might never be.
I struggle with God and faith, and metaphorically and in reality, my sight is sometimes blurry. It is hard to see clearly through the rain and the tears. However, I believe — I know — that God sees our brokenness and that He is the great Healer and Restorer. What or who we think is hopeless is never hopeless to Him. He is able to do far exceedingly above all that we can ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).
